Kau pergi.

It's been a week and i still can't believe that she's gone, as if it was just yesterday when we met, chilled, laughed out loud at all the things we shared and said during our outing. It's just so hard for me to accept her death. it was so sudden. she is was like no other. she is was my closed cousin and my best friend in the whole world. when she's gone. i feel like a part of me is missing. i feel like so kosong. so very alone. sometimes i wonder, why do all the people that i loved so much keep leaving me. Atuk, Nenek, then Along. as a Muslim, who are we to question Qada and Qadar. Kita kena pasrah dan redha akan ketentuan Nya. everything happens for a reason. sometimes, kita sangka sesuatu perkara itu buruk bagi kita padahal ia adalah perkara yang baik untuk kita. Allah is testing me. i know that. that's what i'll be going to do. i just need to let it go. Move on. live my life. but sometimes, it hurts me so much. the goodbye does not hurt me. but the flashback follows. i can't help it if old memories keep playing in my mind. i can only pray for the best of her. Moga Allah tempatkan arwah di kalangan orang yang beriman. Along, you'll be dearly missed. no one could ever replace your spot in my heart. Al-Fatihah. Semoga tenang di sana. i love youu Along xoxo

kau pergi.

3rd death news i received since I've been in New Zealand.

Atuk Leman passed away yesterday. he has gone to meet his Creator.

Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilahi Rajioon. May Allah rest his soul in peace.

i wish i could be with my mom right at this moment. i feel sad because i couldn't be there when she needed me the most. her beloved father has passed away. i know mama is terribly devastated by this lost. Atuk Leman has left us and i believe he is in a better place. Allah lebih sayangkan atuk Mama.

Dear Mama,

you'll have to be strong. my thoughts and prayer are always with atuk. Moga roh atuk dicucuri rahmat. Moga Allah tempatkan atuk di kalangan orang beriman. Amin. he's a good person. i will never forget Atuk. i've accepted this news positively. i grieved but i didn't let tears to come out. i held myself from crying and sobbing. because i knew, it wouldn't make a difference whether i cried. Atuk has gone forever. nothing i do in this world will ever bring him back. So friends and whoever reads this post, please pray my atuk. Al-Fatihah for him.

Mama kuat tau. i love you.

Atuk Leman, Pak Ngah Norzan, Nenek. May Allah grant you with Jannah. Al-Fatihah for them. friends, i'd like to request you guys to recite Al-Fatihah for them. thanks.

Happy Mama's Day!

Dear Mama,

i'm 100% sure that you won't be reading this. because you don't have a blog and you don't even know the existent of my blog. ahaha. because i didn't tell you :P

ok let's get straight. i wanna wish you Happy Mother's Day Mama <3

Mama,

thanks for bringing me into this world,

thanks for teaching me about life,

thanks for raising me up and Insyaallah I'll become a better person. it's all because of your guidance and prayer.

thanks for putting up with me all this while, after all the craps i have pulled over the years, you still forgive me and stay with me,

you're so forgiving mom, though i was kinda misbehaved to you.

thanks for everything.

i don't know what to say anymore. to list out all your sacrifices and what you have done to me, it could be millions.

Mama,

i'm sorry if i'm not being a good daughter,

i'm sorry if i ever make you cry,

i'm sorry if i ever hurt your feelings,

i'm sorry if i ever not being thankful after what all you did to me,

i'm sorry for not giving you a call so often,

i'm sorry if i have you let you down,

i'm sorry for everything.

I love you bits and pieces Mama.

and i hope you love me too :)

auuwww mama and ayah are such a romantic couple. ayah are you sticking your tongue out? nakal lah ayah nie. ahaha. mama, hugs ketat-ketat, jangan biar ayah lari. hehe. Happy Mama's Day MAMA. love you heaps mama. Always will.

Sorry Sinchi.

my beloved lil bro,

i'm sorry. i didn't mean to make fun of you. i didn't mean to call you like that. please forgive ayong. it's just joke. you know ayong kan? never be serious. always goofing around. always sakat ayip. hehe. i know you okay. i know you won't turn out like that. i believe in you. my bro is good boy kan? betul tak? baik cakap. hehe.

remember the times when i used to call you atasinchi, budak sinchi. sebab kita suka tengok anime Atasinchi dulu-dulu. i missed those moments. it was pretty funny. how we ended up calling each other sinchi. ahaha. then, ayah would get mad, and asked us to stop calling each other sinchi. haha. ayong still can recall what ayah said "korang nie macam budak-budak". ish, suddenly missing ayah. ayip punya pasal la nie :P

budak sinchi, i know you're reading this. tak payah comment lagi bagus. ahahahaha.

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day Ayah!!

i love you so much dad. thanks for everything that you have done to me ayah.

ayah.
you are the greatest dad on the whole world. nobody can replace your place in my heart.

teringat waktu dulu-dulu.

ayah selalu concern pasal sekolah, study dan exam.
ayah selalu tanye:
amacam study, ok?? amacam exam, ok?? anak ayah mesti boleh punya.
ayah selalu jadi driver hantar ayong ke mana2.
pergi sekolah ayah hantar.
pergi shopping malls ayah hantar.
keluar ngan member2 pun ayah hantar jugak.
sebab ayah kata lama sangat nak tunggu kalau naik bus. bus stop pun jauh. lebih2 lagi cuaca panas pulak.
balik Ipsah after cuti, ayah hantar jugak. jauh tue Melaka-Kedah.
berapa banyak duit ayah habis kat petrol ngan tol. huhu.. thanks ayah.
ayah jugak yang semangat nak ayong masuk maktab jadi cikgu.
ayah hantar ayong pergi interview. siap tunggu ayong sampai habis interview.
kasih seorang ayah. huhu..
ayah tetap belikan ayong kasut Nike. even kasut tue mahal giler kat Malaysia. sebab ayong tarik muka masam bila ayah suggest brand lain.
kasih seorang ayah. sanggup berkorban harta demi anak-anak.
ayah selalu call ayong tanya khabar berada di tempat orang. sebab ayong sendiri malas nak call rumah. tapi ayah still call. x pernah jemu.
kasih seorang ayah.
ayah bagi ayong pocket money. even ayah ade financial problem.
kasih seorang ayah. huhu..

ayah,
i'm sorry if i have hurt you for countless time.
sorry kalau ayong terkasar bahasa.
sorry kalau ayong degil sesangat.
sorry kalau ayong pernah buat ayah kecewa.
sorry kalau ayong bukan anak yang baik.
sorry kalau ayong terlalu meminta-minta dengan ayah.
but you know what ayah,

ayong sayang sangat2 kat Ayah.
i will try my very best to make you happy and proud of me.
i will definitely study very hard for the sake of you dad.
i will always love you dad.

thanks Allah, for giving me such a wonderful dad. i'm glad i still have parents.

Love,
Ayong.

Happy Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day Mama.

i love you so much. thanks for everything :)

I'll be strong for you Mama.
I'll be a good daughter for you Mama.
I'll take good care of myself for you Mama.
I'll make you proud Mama.
I'll make you happy Mama.

i'm sorry for everything. forgive me Mama. and i thank Allah for giving me such a wonderful mama.

i'm glad and thankful that i still have parents. thanks Allah :)

Love,
Me.

seandainya.

seandainya nenek masih hidup,

ayong makan bersama bila nenek makan,
ayong tidur bersama bila nenek tidur,
ayong menyahut bila nenek panggil,
ayong dengar bila nenek bercerita,
ayong patuh bila nenek suruh/larang,
ayong ketawa bila nenek bergurau,
ayong cium dan salam nenek sebelum keluar rumah,
ayong solat jemaah bersama nenek setiap hari,
ayong buat nenek gembira setiap hari,
ayong ucap terima kasih setiap kali nenek memberi,
ayong minta maaf setiap kali terkasar bahasa dengan nenek,

seandainya nenek masih ada.

nenek, ayong rindukan nenek. nenek pergi tanpa sepatah kata. ayong dah takda nenek. maafkan ayong sekiranya tangisan ayong buat nenek terseksa di sana. ayong sayangkan nenek. setiap kali malam menjelma, ayong resah. hati tidak tenteram. hati ini terasa sayu. ayong rindukan nenek. setiap kali lepas solat, ayong sebak. setiap kali bacakan surah Yasin untuk nenek, ayong sebak. ayong tak sangka nenek dah pergi tinggalkan ayong.

innalillahiwaiinailaihirajiun. Al-Fatihah buat nenek tercinta. i miss you nenek :(

nenek, i miss you..

i wish it was a merely dream. but it wasn't. i have to move on, they said. am i capable of doing that?

i miss her :(

The New Year's eve.

hello people,
okay guys, let's have a recap of what did i do for today. daddy just got back from Port Dickson. at round 8 something, dad brought us to eat at Ramli's somewhere in Banda Hilir i guess. the food was totally heaven. they serve the best nasi goreng and chicken chop in Melaka. well, according to me lah. hehe..after dinner, went for sightseeing at the Stadhuys and Melaka River. as usual, we camwhored like nuts seriously. people were just staring at us. hey, like what the heck kan? just mind your own business people. okay? after a while, went back home. My gosh, the road was totally packed with cars and people. well, it's a new year's eve i guess. people were out either to celebrate the New Year nor dating with their partners. i could see that Bandar Melaka was shimmering with colourful lights. what a great view i tell you. okaylah, i'm too lazy to type some more. just enjoy the pics down here okay?

that's all for today, i guess. well, i had so much fun today, being with the family is like best feeling in the world. overall, today was indeed a blast! till then. cheerio people!

Daddy Cool.

hey humans,

i'm back guys! 2 days of not updating seems like ages..haha..
i wanna update on what is going on in my life today.
went to Jusco with the family. reached there around 8 something. went to the bags and luggages department.
after a half hour of browsing and arguing with my dad bout the price, finally bought quite a large luggage. phew. it costs my dad quite a lot. sorry dad. hehe.. then, went dinnered at McD with the family.
so, i guess my day is satisfying. not a bore i guess.
i couldn't help it but to laugh when i saw my dad's face when he was paying for the luggage. his forehead creased a lot. hehe..soryy dad. well, it's totally worth it!
ok then, don't want to elaborate more. let the pics do the talking kay.

the price before discount. after discount it costs RM +++.

that's all i guess. okay babes, i'm off to watch 13 going 30 on Star Movies. till then,

au revoir people.

Love,
Me.

you're so addictive.

omggg..it has been ages since i last blogged. like what the heck kan? it's just been 3 days though. ok. so i lied. about the fact that i'm gonna break up with this blogspot. i failed to do so. what can i dooo?? i loveee my bloggie so damn much lah..ok. that's so dramatic lah..to be honest, blogging is addictive. like seriously. i can't resist the temptation to blog. haha..okay lah let's recap what i've been up to these days. yesterday is quite a bore for me. didn't do much lah. i hate my days. seriously. huhu.. this morning i woke up so damn early. around 8 ++ am. ate fries and nuggets for breakkie. watched some lame shows on the tv. blahhh..boring. and here i am now. blogging!! the next agenda, i'm gonna do some cleaning the whole house and thinking to have a nap later in the evening. haha..love sleepingg so much. i remembered a conversation that i had with daddy last nite. so damn funny and yet very sarcastic..grrr..

dad: Ayong, nak guna tak computer tak? kalo tak nak ayah offkan. 
me: alaa..ayah sleep kan jee lahh. 
dad: (jokingly) computer mane bole tidoo. ayong tue yang suke tidooo. me: hahaha..lawak nyer..malas nak dengarr.. 

what else to say? i think that's all. shall go now. dear my fellow bloggers, silent readers or blogwalkers, don't bail on me kayy.. i'll be back. no worries. till then, au revoir people.

gajah sama gajah bergaduh, pelanduk mati di tengah-tengah.

pesan untuk mereka,

hey, babes. i don't think you guys will read this but i really have to say this. whatever and no matter what happens between our parents. I'm hoping that we can still stick together and do our things like usual. i don't want because of our parents we grow far apart. i don't want that to happen. we used to be very close. we shared almost everything. we have so much in common. i know about all your dirty secrets. sometimes, adults make mistakes. and i don't want us to be such a fool by committing such a mistake. they are the ones who caused the chaos. why should us be involved in the mess they have created. i hope you understand this whole thing that i'm trying to say to you. i love you babes. you guys are my best cousins in the whole world. nobody could ever replace you guys.

Love,
Ayong.

blueekk.

      Alright. blog update! okay okay. let me recall what did i do for today? firstly, woke up late today, and then spent the whole entire day inside my room. did some reading. like whoa. omg, i ate like a loot today. damn, sure i'll be gaining some weight la. huhu.. gosh, my nose is damn itchy la. this is all becoz i consumed a lot of sambal belacan for the dinner. hehe. omg omg omg. my mom is totally obsessed with tamil movies lately. grrr.. it's so annoying cuz i want to watch hindi movies lah. my mom refused to switch to other channels la. she is totally glued to that ABO channel. grrr.. you know what. if people pass by my house, they would assume that my house is belong to an Indian family i tell you. the only language they can hear from the tv is 'Tamil language'. i fed up already la watching those Tamil movies. bluuueekkkk. but my mom seems to enjoy them very muchhh. apa2 je la mom. damn, totally broke lah. but i'm thinking to catch a movie next week. hopefully. okay la. that's all. this post is very lame and boring. i know i know. i'm having a hard time to sleep nowadays. my eye bags are killing me dowh. i shall go now. ok peeps. ciao!

missing you.

i'm in a mixed mode.
i don't know why, but today i'm missing my grandpa.
he died 2 years ago.
since then, i only cried once.
and today suddenly i miss him so much. my grandpa is a nice person.
though he's not my biological grandpa. he's my step grandpa.
he is very generous and caring.
there's one incident i still remember by now.
when i was about 4 or 5 i guess.
i got separated from my grandpa and granny while shopping in Komtar,
i was so frantic. my eyes blurred and my heart was racing in my chest at that moment.
my grandpa and granny were nowhere in sight.
i began to sob terribly. later on, i saw the glimpse of my grandpa.
he came rushing to me and hugged me. followed behind was my granny.
he told me never to wander off alone without him and granny.
when i was 8 years old, i had to leave grandpa and granny to live with mom and dad in Melaka.
due to long distance from Melaka to Penang. i rarely went back to Penang.
the last time i saw my grandpa when i was in form 3.
my grandpa died when i was in Matrix, about 2 years ago.
i feel so regret that i didn't have the chance to meet my grandpa before he died.
he's really nice to me even i'm just his step granddaughter.
i miss u grandpa and i will always pray for you.

My grandpa, Hasan Che' Lah always in my memory.

with love,
Me.

Mama

6/6/2009 was my mom's birthday. she turns 49 this year. Happy belated birthday mama!!
May all your wishes come true and i love you mama!!


dear mama,
i love it when you cooked my fav sambal petai for me,
i love it when you called me on the phone,
i love it when you took me to shopping malls,
i love it when you asked me about my study,
i love it when you bought clothes for me,
i love it when we watched hindi/tamil movies together,
i love it when you kissed me on both cheeks before i boarded the bus to go back to Sg.Petani,
i love it when you gave me good advices,
in conclusion, i love everything about you.
you are the best mama in the world.
sorry if i made you angry or didn't listen to what you said.
but please mama, do me this favour,
less nagging please. :)
i hate it when you started to nag, nag and nag. erkk
so jahat lah me. hee..sorry mom.
whatever you are, i love you mama with all my heart.

with love,
TiNa :)

Reminder for Ahmad Asyraf.

Pesan untuk si dia,

dearest brother, look i'm sorry ok.. i promise i won't get mad at you anymore. you have grown up already, so you can think by yourself, what is good and what is bad to you. i love you and i don't want you to get killed by that 'shit', that 'shit' is not good and useless. it can kill you man!! please bro.. for once in your life, try to listen to me, i'm your sister dude!! for your sake, please leave that 'shit', don't touch that 'shit'. that 'shit' will only get you in the 'shit'. please.. listen to your sister.. i nag because i love you. why can't you see that i love you bro?? don't damage your life and your health for that damn 'shit'!! i don't know what to say anymore, i hope you will listen to me brother. i did this because i love you. Ahmad Asyraf.. lu pikirla sendiri!! malas nak cakap dah..penat tau..huhu..

Kak Long.

hohoho..

        Hi hi you guys!! i'm back again to share with you guys what i did today, well for today, me, ayip, abang ngah accompanied my mom to have dinner at Renaissance Hotel Melaka, the clinic where my mom worked had organized an event at that hotel, the event was given the name as Orthopedic Night, so there i was, enjoying the food, drinks and performances.. my mom was involved in one of the performances, my mom and other staffs performed a dikir barat, it was fun but unfortunately i didn't understand what they were singing, to top it all, i will share some pics of the night..