am i ready?

am i confident enough?

am i wise enough?

am i prepared enough?

i can only give the same answer to every question . which is NO.

OMG OMG practicum is next week. i'm gonna die. help me Lord. i'm freaking scared. i'm totally shaking. these negative feelings have been boiling up inside me that i feel i could explode at anytime. huwaaa. i'm so nervous like hell. chill chill.

alright this quotation really helps to ease my pain a little. by remembering Allah, everything will be fine. Insyaallah. Qistina Fahimi. you can do this. fighting! this might be my last post at the time being. i don't know. i don't feel like blogging anymore. currently, i've been busy tumblring, tweeting and stalking Zayn Malik. oopps.  tumblr is so much fun ya know. with all those beautiful, animation gifs and images, i just can't resist tumblr. RIP blogspot. heh. that's all for now. 

till then, cheerio.

just wanna say hi. it's been a while.

hi blog.

i don't feel like blogging anymore. i don't feel like sharing my stories and thoughts anymore. what's up with me? i think the aging process is the cause. i'm getting older. soon to be 23. anyway, i've been doing fine these past months. a lot of things happened. good and bad. i got trough them somehow. yeay me. about my final year eh? there's not much to say about it. honestly, i just want this year to end soon! i can't wait to enter the working phase. yeay that's what i've been studying for right? to get a job. alright. seriously i have nooo mood to continue writing up this post. i've lost my freaking blogging mojo. cheerio!

Tina

Kau pergi.

It's been a week and i still can't believe that she's gone, as if it was just yesterday when we met, chilled, laughed out loud at all the things we shared and said during our outing. It's just so hard for me to accept her death. it was so sudden. she is was like no other. she is was my closed cousin and my best friend in the whole world. when she's gone. i feel like a part of me is missing. i feel like so kosong. so very alone. sometimes i wonder, why do all the people that i loved so much keep leaving me. Atuk, Nenek, then Along. as a Muslim, who are we to question Qada and Qadar. Kita kena pasrah dan redha akan ketentuan Nya. everything happens for a reason. sometimes, kita sangka sesuatu perkara itu buruk bagi kita padahal ia adalah perkara yang baik untuk kita. Allah is testing me. i know that. that's what i'll be going to do. i just need to let it go. Move on. live my life. but sometimes, it hurts me so much. the goodbye does not hurt me. but the flashback follows. i can't help it if old memories keep playing in my mind. i can only pray for the best of her. Moga Allah tempatkan arwah di kalangan orang yang beriman. Along, you'll be dearly missed. no one could ever replace your spot in my heart. Al-Fatihah. Semoga tenang di sana. i love youu Along xoxo

heyya, i'm back.

ohhh my poor blog. i haven't updated for months. lazy me. sighh.  i'm so sorry guys. honestly, i think I've lost my blogging MOJO!! alright, just wanna update what I've been up to these past months.

1. Completed my 2 years study in Victoria University of Wellington. gosh, i'm so gonna miss Welly!!
2. Back in Malaysia and spent time with my family that i haven't met for 2 years. i missed them like crazy.
3. Been on trips to London and Paris. i seriously in love with London. Paris is not so much. it's just not safe to be in Paris. hmm
4. Back in Ipsah to complete my 4rd year Degree. please please 4rd year be nice to me. huhu
5. Got a new roomie. very nice and friendly senior. though, i did miss my ex-roomie :P
6. Tied to ridiculous rules of IPSAH. *nak keluar makan pun mau tulis nama kah?
7. I've lost some weight since i got back from New Zealand. but since i got back to IPSAH  which 2 weeks ago, my large appetite is freaking me out. ohh no-no. i seriously need to maintain my ideal weight. no nasi okay Tina?
8. I'm looking forward to cuti RAYA CINA. i wanna go homee. seriously, i feel really homesick. 

that's all for now. not sure if i could update this blog regularly in the future, like i said, i've lost my blogging mojo. ciao!

Stonehenge, United Kingdom.

Qistina

how did I celebrate my Raya this year?

Selamat Hari Raya semua,
Maaf Zahir Batin.

today is the 5th of Syawal, ohh how time flies.

my dad used to say this "nak raya, nak raya, dah raya dah pun"

Haha. that's so true. kejap je masa berlalu. Ramadhan pun dah berakhir. just feel like as if yesterday we began our puasa. huhuhu. sedihnyaaa Ramadhan dah berlalu. Entah bertemu lagi ke tak Ramadhan tahun depan. Insyaallah, kita jumpa lagi Ya Ramadhan.

Sesungguhnya, Raya di New Zealand isn't bad at all. even without the presence of family members and relatives, we still could have fun and raya's spirit is still in the air. Alhamdullillah, Allah has blessed me with wonderful people around me, so my raya days were full with colours, laughter, happiness and nice FOOD. our house, had 'Raya Open House' on the second Syawal. the three of us, me, Ecah, Lily invited our cohort 3.1 members to our house. I came up with Kuah Kacang and Nasi Himpit, Ecah with her finger lickin finger good Nasi Kerabu and Lily with her mouth-watering Mee Bandung. Our open house was a success. received a lot of good feedbacks from the guests =) mine was the first try ever. thank God, my kuah kacang tasted good. i also baked some kuih raya.

this is my second year i have celebrated my raya without family. of course, i feel really bad about it. i feel really homesick. time malam raya tue, i cried when I heard the takbir, then besoknya time sembahyang raya pun, i cried. at that time, i felt sooooo empty. as if a part of me was missing. i should be beraya with family, but due to circumstances, i couldn't celebrate Raya with my family back in Malaysia. sobss. okey that's enough with 'tacing' story nie. let the pics do the talking aye?

 first Syawal, beraya di High Commission of Malaysia. 

 i had teary eyes. sobsss. listening to takbir raya did touch my heart.

at night, beraya di rumah 'Datin-Datin'.

 our Open House on the second of Syawal.

 third Syawal, Beraya di rumah Azu dan Izzati. had sup ekor and nasi himpit. yawww

 Stadfford Open House

4rd Syawal, beraya di Att, Ada, Izatul, Najwa and Naufal's Open House. tidak lupa jugak Open house Rumah Naia and Mufid :)

copied from my FB's status,

Satu Syawal di NZ, disambut dgn meriah, with nice food, gelak ketawa rakan2 secohort, camwhoring, open house here n there. Still, hati nie terasa sayu tatkala mendengar takbir raya. Mengenangkan Ramadhan yg sudah berakhir, wajah ayah ibu, adik2 nun jauh di sana. Sedih sikit laa. tapi life must go on rite?

Alhamdullillah, raya tahun nie, i managed to smile though i have a little sorrow in my heart.